We're given homework at the first class. It's a colouring page the medium-teacher has chosen for each of us. You'd think this would be straightforward and enjoyable. Sigh, not for me.
I have attempted this mandela colouring meditation in the past year as it's gained favour across the country. Even my cousin on the east coast displayed pictures on Facebook of their family dinner where everyone had a colouring page at their place setting. My spirit peeps have been delving in this type of meditation for a couple of years now.
For me, it's like filling out a Form. I despise Forms. Some questions just irritate me and others outright send me down a path of questioning the world at large. It's like my brain starts sparking and fizzling leading to a complete shut down dependant on the length and stupidity level of the Form.
I searched for felts and pencil crayons in my daughter's room looting from pockets of stationery stashed in the madness that is a teenager's and sat down task at hand.
It didn't take long for the resistance to arise.
What colour should I use here?
I should make a pattern. It can't repeat too much.
This is a terrible outline. It isn't even a closed circle. I'm going to have to merge colours.
I can't put purple here. It's too close to the other purple circle.
Damn, I didn't count this out well. This looks terrible.
I can't erase felts.
I can't start over.
Anything but meditative. I put it aside.
The night before class my family is over. My grandson spies the page on the chair. Out of the corner of my eye I see him pick up a crayola and starting colouring. I'm grateful. I suggest he move to the table and we spread out all the felt pens. Soon my daughter joins him and they complete the homework for me.
I take it to class the next evening. The first gal to share has noticed the differences in each of our approaches and colour schemes. As a therapist she has insight of personality traits and extensive knowledge of the chakras as a healer. I find this fascinating as she makes a quick assessment of each of our methods particularly as mine is about one third 4-year old. Things like outlining, vibrancy of tones, all give hints to who we are and where we're currently at. One of my close peeps had mostly purple in hers which makes sense as her third eye is stretching wide open these days! Another woman whose struggling with her level of empathy and needs to set some spiritual boundaries had set her intention for a balanced life and coloured her drawing very rooted - earth chakra - on the bottom half - and a myriad of colours above; an expression of allowing yet setting limits.
About 90% of the class found it a relaxing experience, one lady even disappearing for over an hour in blissful state. When it was my turn to share, I told a completely different story, a detailed diatribe relating the exercise to my hatred and frustration for Forms and how ultimately I just wasn't doing it. I 'fessed up it was actually my offspring that finished it but they could tell that.
Ruth (not her real name) gave me a detailed analysis of my psyche which I found most intriguing. She said I'm so 'out the box' that I don't like rules or anything that is trying to keep me 'in the box'. I giggled. She said you're gregarious and this is just nonsense for you. You'd rather be out there and helping people. Awww... the laughter turned to love and my eyes began to leak. I barely know this woman at all and it feels like she saw my inner light. The one that grows everyday as I nurture my soul.
The teacher-medium had a bit of a different perspective, likening my feelings to a block or I can't settle my mind or something like that but I'm sticking with the gregarious Angel...