Tuesday, 8 November 2016

Hello said a small voice

I got home today, sat down at my beloved HP window to the world, and my gmail was open to a facebook notification from last April.

What the what?  How does my email open itself up?

Last spring I took an online writing course. It was wonderful. However I'm shy at my core (some people find that one hard to believe) and wasn't much at the participation aspect of the course.

I finally got brave and wrote a little ditty to post on the class wall and the instructor commented. And that's what email my computer met me with this afternoon.

I haven’t written in months and perhaps this was a nudge to blog?  I don’t know. But here it is.

Spirit you are so cool...


Hello said a small voice from the back.

Slowly they turned, expecting to see someone but what they saw was a golden light emanating from a spot on the ground. It grew and as the light grew so did the sound. But it wasn’t words… it was music, like a choir singing, or was it?
No one really knew. What they did know was how they felt.
Warm and joyful. Elated and content at the same time. Smiles formed on their faces as tears welled in their eyes. Held in this space for an immeasurable length of time, seemingly cradled in an energetic bubble of love.
As quickly as it started, the sound silenced and the light dimmed, and they could see her.
You came they said.
Yes said the small voice, I found you all.

I do belong. 



Wednesday, 13 July 2016

The Necessity of Sadness

I recently read a blog of my all-time favouritest writer ever Jenny Lawson aka The Bloggess. And she is.
http://thebloggess.com/2016/05/31/sometimes-the-darkness-can-be-beautiful-but-sometimes-its-a-real-bitch-depends-i-guess/
I love her bold, brave honesty; she writes succinctly - with humour - about depression, darkness and the shadows. So many of us deal with situations, stress and emotions that qualify our participation in those categories whether we are awake to it or not.
Hi Jenny,
You don't know me ... yet  hehehe (in a good way of course)
I love you. Thank you for being so courageous and sharing your experiences which ultimately helps the masses and that, my Spiritual Warrior Sister, whether you know you are or not, is raising consciousness on this fabulous planet we live on.
Bless you.
This is a drawing by Jenny as well.
She reeks of creativity!


My own spiritual journey - amplified over the past 4 years - has led me to understand more deeply the nature of reality and this earthwalk we humans are on. A big part in how one weathers the experience is acceptance and letting go of things (people, experiences, behaviours). Two simple statements but complex at the root and takes much practice to alter the programming we've worn for as long as we can remember.


Although we can't make the darkness go away - it's a necessary component of the equation - by learning and understanding What's Really Going On (aka consciousness) it somehow it makes it just a little easier to ride out the waves, relax and enjoy the ride!

So if you want to explore What's Really Going On, The Untethered Soul is an awesome book. Only 180 pages, short chapters, easy to comprehend. Super cool concepts about this human experience.

And Jenny. Read Jenny Lawson's blog The Bloggess  (link above).
She's not about consciousness per se, just Real and damn funny.

You'll love her too.



Sunday, 10 July 2016

Save the Apples

I have a fabulously abundant apple tree in my backyard. And it's old too. You can tell by the bark (no offense to those humans over 50 like me cause pretty much you can tell a human is old by their bark).
Each summer I give a couple of boxes of apples to the food bank and that makes me feel really good. I have an incredible peach tree too that I share the bounty with the neighbour who works at a seniors home. He says they like fresh fruit with their breakfast. That makes me feel really good too and I could go on about how important it is for seniors to have fresh fruit however this blog is about saving the apples.

Under the apple tree is a rock patio. I don't want to call it a gravel patio as the rock I picked out is much prettier than gravel. More ovally stones in brown and white tones... and much easier on bare feet - gravel can really hurt! Anyway as the apples ripen, they regularly fall off the tree either from the squirrels running amuk amidst the branches or the occasional blustery day. The problem is when the apples hit the ground from 20 ft up they're bruised, split and non-edible. And they're perfectly good apples or at least were. I hate to see such bounty go to waste especially when there's people who would love to be chowing down on an apple. Serve the masses healthy food I say! Let's be honest, humanity would be a lot better off if we all stopped consuming hordes of crap.

I've tried a number of gimmicks including draping netting between a few chairs to catch the apples. My son took a pic and sent it to his siblings so they could all laugh at their crazy mother. And I did save a number of apples; made navigating around my backyard treacherous though.

So I come home from work today and find my son working on his car in the driveway. We chat for a bit and my gaze is drawn to a handful of bruised apples strewn about the rocks.

Me   I have a new plan, I announce.
The boy   Better than the chairs and the netting?
Me   I know you guys laughed at me.
The boy   At least it wasn't to your face.
Me   My new plan, I pause, is to lay some foam pads on the ground so when the apples drop they won't bruise.
I remind him about feeding the homeless.
The boy   Mom, he says in his most understanding voice, I don't think our backyard would look that great with a bunch of foam pads covering the patio.
Me   It wouldn't be for long I say. Just a month or so...
The boy   I have a better idea.
And my eldest child unveils a brilliant scheme.
The boy   Move the trampoline under the tree. It has a net around it too so they won't bounce off.
Mom, we can Save the Apples.

Love that boy.


Saturday, 16 April 2016

Colouring should be Fun

I've joined a Psychic Development circle with the intention to deepen my connection to spirit. There's 11 of us in total not surprisingly as 11 is THE number. I'm quite sure y'all get the reference as the whole 11:11 thing is pretty mainstream by now.

We're given homework at the first class. It's a colouring page the medium-teacher has chosen for each of us. You'd think this would be straightforward and enjoyable. Sigh, not for me.

I have attempted this mandela colouring meditation in the past year as it's gained favour across the country. Even my cousin on the east coast displayed pictures on Facebook of their family dinner where everyone had a colouring page at their place setting. My spirit peeps have been delving in this type of meditation for a couple of years now.

For me, it's like filling out a Form. I despise Forms. Some questions just irritate me and others outright send me down a path of questioning the world at large. It's like my brain starts sparking and fizzling leading to a complete shut down dependant on the length and stupidity level of the Form.

I searched for felts and pencil crayons in my daughter's room looting from pockets of stationery stashed in the madness that is a teenager's and sat down task at hand.

It didn't take long for the resistance to arise.
What colour should I use here? 
I should make a pattern. It can't repeat too much.
This is a terrible outline. It isn't even a closed circle. I'm going to have to merge colours.
I can't put purple here. It's too close to the other purple circle. 
Damn, I didn't count this out well. This looks terrible. 
I can't erase felts.
I can't start over.
This sucks.

Anything but meditative. I put it aside.

The night before class my family is over. My grandson spies the page on the chair. Out of the corner of my eye I see him pick up a crayola and starting colouring. I'm grateful. I suggest he move to the table and we spread out all the felt pens. Soon my daughter joins him and they complete the homework for me.

I take it to class the next evening. The first gal to share has noticed the differences in each of our approaches and colour schemes. As a therapist she has insight of personality traits and extensive knowledge of the chakras as a healer. I find this fascinating as she makes a quick assessment of each of our methods particularly as mine is about one third 4-year old. Things like outlining, vibrancy of tones, all give hints to who we are and where we're currently at. One of my close peeps had mostly purple in hers which makes sense as her third eye is stretching wide open these days! Another woman whose struggling with her level of empathy and needs to set some spiritual boundaries had set her intention for a balanced life and coloured her drawing very rooted - earth chakra - on the bottom half - and a myriad of colours above; an expression of allowing yet setting limits.

About 90% of the class found it a relaxing experience, one lady even disappearing for over an hour in blissful state. When it was my turn to share, I told a completely different story, a detailed diatribe relating the exercise to my hatred and frustration for Forms and how ultimately I just wasn't doing it. I 'fessed up it was actually my offspring that finished it but they could tell that.

Ruth (not her real name) gave me a detailed analysis of my psyche which I found most intriguing. She said I'm so 'out the box' that I don't like rules or anything that is trying to keep me 'in the box'. I giggled. She said you're gregarious and this is just nonsense for you. You'd rather be out there and helping people. Awww... the laughter turned to love and my eyes began to leak. I barely know this woman at all and it feels like she saw my inner light. The one that grows everyday as I nurture my soul.


The teacher-medium had a bit of a different perspective, likening my feelings to a block or I can't settle my mind or something like that but I'm sticking with the gregarious Angel...



Tuesday, 29 March 2016

Spiritual Warrior

I did this Facebook online game that tells your personality based on your selection (multiple-choice) of what you initially see when glancing at a multi-item picture.


My results...

You have a uniquely creative personality!

My interest is piqued.

"The main things in life for you are your intuition, wisdom, joy, satisfaction and curiosity." yep
"Your life is painted in a multitude of beautiful colours, and you're always looking at it through the prism of creativity." definitely me
"You live your life in constant anticipation of experiencing something new and wonderful." I'm likin' this
"However, at the moment you feel a lot of aggression inside. It's possible that recently you've been experiencing a lot of negative emotions and have the desire to finally resolve something that's been bugging you for a long time. You need to calm down and relax."

What the what?  I shouldn't be surprised... the Universe IS a mind reader.

Indeed many of my spiritual navigation tools (cards, number sequences, synchronicities) along with my wakeful sleep have all exposed the anger bubble brewing in my belly. Something occurred earlier this month which ignited a dormant pocket of fuel. Enough. Time for the peaceful warrior to take her stand.

Spiritually I know better than to hang onto anger as it only poisons oneself.
And wouldn't you know in a recent Reiki session an enormous anaconda energy presented itself and lay along the right side of my body - the male aspect - with its head upon my chest. I literally could feel this snake spirit resting on me and the slight movement of its breath. At the time I thought it was the Reiki master and I was thinking, okay that's a little weird but whatever, I'm safe and comfortable... The snake then coiled up over my abdomen and released eggs through my body at a cellular level to cleanse the poison. (I do live a most interesting life)

Thankfully after 20 days (and another visit from the snake, a couple of ravens and an eagle) I'm moving into Acceptance. Less stressful on the physical body. To aid my warrior stance I've participated in numerous Releasing Rituals some with chanting and burning under the full moon (fully dressed but only cause it was March). I was glad to find out that Letting Go was a process and can be practiced like Yoga - several times a week.  You show it to the door, and somehow it keeps creeping back in.  I was thinking I missed something. I put the list under the Boot in the Closet just like the psychic said and dang if HE didn't pop back into my thoughts.

Forgiveness? Not there yet. The story hasn't quite played out. The finale has yet to take place. And once I've moved through and released every heart-rendering scenario (my egoic mind's attempt to keep me in the box) I will joyfully welcome Forgiveness. I've got way too much dancing to do...


Don't let anyone walk through your mind with their dirty feet



Saturday, 15 August 2015

Mother's Advice

I recently watched another fabulous documentary Spiritual Revolution on Gaiam TV ... wellness & esoteric version of Netflix ... I love it, of course.

One segment in particular caught my attention. Going back to the roots of the spiritual movement in North America, Bhagavan Das, the 27-year-old Golden Guru, sat before thousands at a gathering in California in 1972. The crowd anxiously awaiting The Word...

GGI don't know. No one has anything to teach until they're 50.

And he walked off the stage. Now there's an insightful young man!  Being over that marker (not by much though haha) I wholeheartedly agree. And I'm sure when I'm 70 I will reflect back on how little I knew at 50. That's just the way it is. Although some people certainly have more wisdom ingrained than others, there's no match for years of living on this planet.

With that in mind, herein is mother's advice. To my four offspring, many other lovely young souls adopted along the way, and any other interested parties.

When you're having a crap time, whether it be physically or emotionally, it is your inner self saying Helloooo you're not happy inside. Something needs to CHANGE.

Your life needs looking at. Maybe just poor food choices, activities we're doing or things we're saying. Or maybe you're in an unbalanced relationship, dead-end job and abusing substances... lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

It's this beautiful internal guidance system we're born with. However from the get-go society teaches us to do any number of things when we get signals ... ignore, mask, suppress ... to name a few.

My latest analogy supporting the view of we're Light Beings having a Human Experience involves the board game Clue which I played as a kid. You pick a character ... Colonel Mustard, Mrs. Peacock, Mr. Green, Professor Plum, Miss Scarlet my personal favourite ... should I be surprised?  The game unfolds as the characters move about the board in search of clues eventually exposing all. Sounds a little familiar doesn't it?  Yep, it's an incredibly complex game we're playing here on Earth, that is all too real with pretty high stakes. And we have the opportunity to play with excitement, delight and joy.

The sooner one develops the ability to view and understand Life and Living from a different perspective, the easier this existence can be. We flow from experience to experience allowing the natural order of life to take place with the Serenity Prayer in our pocket.
Universe, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Sometimes I wish I learned this concept earlier on in life. Then I giggle ... Silly human, figuring it out is the Journey.




Tuesday, 14 July 2015

Time Warp & Weird Animal Interactions

I read on the internet today - it's official - time is warping. 




I am not mocking this statement whatsoever as I truly believe time has been kinda odd lately. However I'm not really one to pass up the opportunity to mock ... afterall this-must-be-true-cause-I-read-it-on-the-internet.

But seriously time has been weird. It feels like it's flying by; my colleagues and I were lamenting last week how it's already halfway through 2015. On the other hand when I look back at certain events, say last February, it feels like eons ago. I try to remember this observation particularly at times when I'm feeling a great deal of discomfort over how my life is unfolding. In simpler terms, hang on this crap won't last long; before you know it, it'll be weeks down the road and you won't remember what you were piss-moaning about... How's that for kicking your own butt! Spiritually-speaking I could be using kinder verbage however I'm embracing my personality and really, one's spiritual journey isn't about being nice all the time. It's about being true to your higher-self and the practice of accepting one's true nature rather than picking on ourselves.  Sometimes I say the f* word too

Of late, along with many other humans, I've been experiencing some interesting interactions with animals. 

My most recent tattoo was a design I created some time ago (I really can't remember, what with all this warping going on) but the basis is the phi symbol - like pi but not quite - it is an equation specifically the golden ratio - the rate at which everything grows. It's the symbol of creation.

As I'm a flowy kinda gal I added a series of dust specks which morphed into birds - growing, right? I'd got the idea from a design of a dandelion blowing seeds. The tattoo artist redrew my sketch and asked if they were a specific bird. No, just birds I said.

A couple weeks later I was standing at my kitchen window gazing at my abundant green surroundings. A crow landed on the wire leading up to the house. Wow, that's close I thought. A moment later he flew directly at me and at the last moment swooped up to the roof. Okay, even closer. Time to look up animal symbolism. I love the internet.

Crow represents creation. Many cultures believe crows hold memories of ancient worlds, ancient ways of living, and beautiful secrets.

Of course the birds are crows. Thank you Universe; you never cease to amaze me.


A dear friend and fellow spiritual-seeker had a beautiful experience with a chicken, ever more to be known as The Spiritual Chicken.

It occurred only weeks after he'd given up eating meat. I recalled, when sharing his reasoning with me, he told of a nasty experience years earlier when eating chicken. A drumstick I believe. With a crippled, gnarled bone. I could see by his body language how repelled he was even now. Needless to say for many reasons he felt really good about his decision.

It was on a Saturday morning when venturing across the yard to his man-haven aka garage there it was. A chicken. Living in a industrial/suburban area there are no neighbours in the vicinity that house poultry...  Cool he thinks. The chicken accompanies him to the shop and there they happily spend the day. That night it wandered off. He hasn't seen it since and is quite convinced, as am I, that the Universe was expressing acknowledgment, support and gratitude for his decision. The Spiritual Chicken indeed.


I work in the city which means parking is almost non-existent, and what is available is either expensive or time limited. The free parking, which is my preference, is a 10 minute walk from my building. This time of year it's an absolute pleasure and I meander my way in the morning through the city's original residential area marked by colourful gardens and heritage styling. One Friday morning I noticed a deer ahead of me on the sidewalk. That's a bit unusual I thought. Across the street a woman poked her head around the back of an SUV.
He's stalking me she said.
That's funny I replied.
She hollered No it's not.
Indeed the deer had now crossed the road and was approaching her and her little dog. I do find this amusing however I can tell this lady is rattled.
I'll walk with you I said. I have an umbrella and if it gets close I'll protect us.
We walk half a block back in the direction I've come, gradually increasing speed as we notice the deer is getting closer! I think it likes your dog, I said. Another half block and as we glance back the deer is gone; it appears he's taken the road to the right that we just crossed.
Whew, she says. That was weird. She introduced herself, thanked me and ventured the last stretch to her building.
It was barely minutes til I crossed back over that road again on my way to work. The deer was nowhere in sight... OMG, I thought. I bet that sly creature has cruised the back yards and will head her off at the pass!
I couldn't wait to run into Margaret again out on her morning dog walk. It was a few days til our timing meshed.
I've been dying to know I asked. Did that deer reappear at the end of the block?
It did! she said. I knew it!
What made the day even weirder, she went on to tell me, later that afternoon while visiting friends the same thing happened. A deer appeared seemingly fixated and her and her dog.
You should look up deer spiritual symbolism, I suggest.

I told my spiritual chicken friend about the deer interaction. He had just learned from caregivers at his mother's extended care facility that they often see deer around their premises, and believe them to be assisting with soul transition. In simple terms, assisting the death experience.

Come to think of it, I haven't seen Margaret and her little dog lately. Hope they're okay.